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[07 Nov 2012|12:00am]
It is so funny living in Texas during an election and listening to everyone's reactions to their newly re-elected president!! Hahahahahahahaha!!

Posted via m.livejournal.com.

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[31 Mar 2011|12:08am]
Man I've been going through some Major stuff lately. Stuff that no one knows about and that is hard! I really wanna update on all of it but it's just so hard typing entries on my iPod!! I need internet access for real!! Guess i'll figure out a way soon. I don't know how much longer I can keep it all in
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[18 Feb 2010|03:49am]
So having a computer in the living room is not exactly the best place to be able to keep up with a journal...i would still like to be able to post A LOT more than I do...I would like to be able to do so every night because so much happens from week to week that when I take this long to say anything there is so much that I feel like I am forgetting it all...it is really hard though when I am on display every time I write anything...Justin is asleep on the couch right now...my roommate tony went to bed which is crazy because he never goes to bed before me..and their friend Chris is asleep in the recliner...I am really just waiting for my Ipod to recharge right now so I can continue playing Kitchen dash...I am going to smoke a cigarette after I Finnish with this...so here's the deal

I have 8 closing shifts in a row...tonight was the 6th...we just hired 5 new people...one of which closed last night(I had to train him how to do so...just like everyone else..go figure!)...and I really don't think I am going to like him...I am trying really hard to give him a chance but he's such a 'bro' and everyone we've hired before him I've gotten along with so well that its hard for me to just remember that I am his manager and I don't have to worry about him liking me...I actually want him to hate me anyway because I feel like that will make him work harder...He was treating Rachel like they were two kids on the fucking playground last night and i was so fed up with his personality and attitude that I gave up on him half way through the night and stopped training him and just let him do whatever the fuck he wanted...but then I go into work today and find out that he is scared to close with me tomorrow and that I intimidate him...which is exactly what I wanted because I feel like that is what some people need to work harder so i guess i did my job without trying...I am just realllllly not looking forward to tomorrow closing with him...

Flogging molly(Justin's Christmas present) was awesome...We went with Alexis and ryan and we had so much fun with them...i miss them so much...ever since she had Parker it's so much harder to get her attention...i completely understand...but i love that she is like a liz in my life where nothing ever changes no matter how long it's been...we went to some bars downtown before and after the show and her birthday is this Friday so I am trying to take her to dave and busters on Saturday...maybe it will work out we'll see

Las Vegas was awesome...I loved playing slot machines...I found this one wizard of oz machine that was paying off really well and I would wait every night for everyone to get off of my machine and then play it until 3 am...I made lots of money...it was so fun..during the day we drank frozen drinks from fat Tuesdays and walked around las Vegas looking at all of the diff hotels that weren't there last time when i was ten because i wanted to be a tourist and take pictures...we also went to the celebrity wax museum and took pictures with all of them lol...I got the flu while I was there which totally sucked but my brother flew me home first class because of how sick I was and it was amazing...all the free alcoholic drinks you want...a meal on a plate with dessert....hot towels...and free tv the whole flight with comfy big chairs...never again do I want to fly coach...I wish I had more to say but I could not possibly describe this trip and how much of a learning experience it was for the both of us...I am 23 now and my brother has not hung out with me as a full blown adult so it really suprised him how easy going and how much like my dad I am...I was also very su8prised to find out that him and I are in a relationship with pretty much the exact same person...like sister like brother I guess...I am ready to go back NOW that is how much fun I and...and now my friends lena and kim are having a ceremony in April in Vegas(gettin married)..and I think I am going to try really hard to afford it....there is probably more but you know I am not off til Sat so it will most likely be awhile before I write again

Valentines day was non existent...Justin worked a double and I closed...we still BOTH haven't done anything for each other...I am fine with that though...it's our 4th I really don't care anymore...we will go out and have a good time together when we are both finally off again...we're soooo busy
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[06 Feb 2010|03:57am]
I'm a little drunk right now...okay a lot drunk...i really want to write an entry tomorrow when I am off tomorrow and justin is at work not drunk though haha...I went to Las Vegas last week with my brother so I want to write about that...it was awesome...and right now everyone is asleep aka all the roomates and i am just listening to music on the headphones i have been for the passed 3 hours I think there is more its 4am but i am not stopping until I am to the end of the playlist...i am drinking because i had the flu and I am finally not sick
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[28 Dec 2009|04:29pm]
[ mood | confused ]

I didn't even remember that I had written the last entry until I reread it. That's what i get for writing at 3am...tonight is the first night i'll be at home alone for 4 hours by myself with no roomates in MONTHS...i am going to enjoy it so much...and I am GOING to write that much needed email.

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[18 Dec 2009|02:59am]
believe it or not i actually have stuff i should be posting other than this...def work stuff that's bothering me...def friend stuff that's bothering me...i will def get around to it soon...i just wanted to talk about how cool this whole ipod touch thing is...man i love checking the journal, facebook, and myspace on it it's so convenient and so much less a hassle I am so excited by the whole idea...i am loving it ...it came so much sooner than expected...well i am going WELL into overtime this week but i am finally off tomorrow night i work at 9am so i will make a REAL post tomorrow night...ps melissa i am so sorry i haven't emailed you back yet i just feel like so much changes with you from week to week that if i answered that past email it wouldn't even apply to now...that's the real reason i haven't replied so i'll send you just a generic email back with what's going on with me tomorrow and now that i am not dealing with as much anxiety and writing issues i'll be able to continue from there...i want you and i to connect and be closer than anyone because it's weird i STILL feel like you know me better than anyone...and like i can't tell anyone the things i could tell you...so newest thing that's going on...Justin and I are in the works of moving to san marcos...for those of you that don't know that is where Texas State is and it's half way between austin and San Antonio...we are completley planning now on moving in august...i'll keep up up to date on our progress we are gonna go in march and look for apartments
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[07 Dec 2009|01:01am]
Short and simple it did snow yesterday. Two years of snow consecutively has never happened in history here in Houston. Last year it happened during my closing shift. This year it happened during my mid-shift. It ended 30 mins before i got off work. I mean don't get me wrong it was pretty to watch out the windows at work, but I am a little upset that I didn't get a chance to enjoy it two years in a row, especially because it never happens here. It actually snowed pretty hard. I was really sleepy last night but Laurie and I hung out and watched TV together and drank some whiskey and that was pretty relaxing. Work was a lot better tonight than it has been in a long time. Now I am just tired and a little cranky because I have a lot of things I want/need to do and it's so hard for me to accomplish anything without a car. I don't want people to think I am using them for rides either so I am just kind of confused right now as to what I should do. I'm going to go smoke a cigarette now
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[03 Dec 2009|10:37pm]
[ mood | accomplished ]

oh man it's a long one.. so i keep saying im going to write in this and it never happens...so much has gone on haha...part of it is that the computer is in the living room and i feel weird writing with everyone around

so first Halloween...was awesome...i saw a lot of people that i hadn't in a long time...and got dressed up and went to a party at my old asm's house...we go there every year and it's nice and reliable...i was a little upset i didn't have ONE trick or treater at my house...i bought all this candy and i was so excited about it and no one showed up...i thought that was a little weird...but yea not much else to say about that except i didn't want to leave the party but justin didn't tell me he had to work the next morning so i kind of felt like a bitch cuz i was trying to get him to stay....

my birthday was really good too...we didn't do much the day of my birthday...Justin and i went out to eat with my two best girlfriends from work...I've only known them for a few months but they were so incredibly sweet one of them bought me flowers and a bunch of new glasses...and then afterwords we went to the bar where Justin and Laurie proceeded to feed me shot after shot and a ton of drinks so needless to say i felt like complete shit the next day...but it was fun

birthday weekend now that's where it's at haha...we went to ren fest and man i had suuuuch a good time...the first night it was just me Matty(my roommate) and Justin...we got there after dark so we had to set up the tent in the dark and i mean this thing was like the weirdest tent ever hahhaha...it's not the shape of a normal tent...but when we finally figured it out we started a fire and started drinking....so it's a huge campsite with thousands of people all around you and music everywhere and stuff so i had to pee and i was kinda trying to hide it because i didn't know how i was gonna go when headlights kept shining in different directions...so finally i got Justin to walk with me far back by a fence thing and we peed together hahah...come to find out there were portapottys right by where we were camping haha but it was easier the rest of the night...so Sam, Brittin, and Todd came later in the night and set up and we all just sat around the fire drinking...i went to sleep early like 2am cuz Laurie and Jeff were coming the next day and i didn't want to be all shitty hung over so we could have a good time the next day...well Matt and Justin crawl into the tent at 6am!! and wake me up they are both giggly like little boys and i say to Matt "man it doesn't feel like I've been asleep for 2 hours crazy" and in like a real sly voice he goes "you've been asleep for FOUR hours" and starts laughing hysterically hahha...then they got the front zipper to the tent stuck so they both literally dove into a small hole in the tent...it was sooooo funny...man and it was really really cold...i've never camped before and the sleeping in a tent thing wasn't weird but i was freezing...the next day i was the only one up for awhile til they finally all woke up sooo hung over and it was in like the 80s and we were in the sun so that kinda sucked...Laurie and Jeff got stuck in traffic on the way so it took them like 4 hours to get there...but i had so much fun with them we all went to the festival and i tried fried alligator on a stick which was a stretch because of the whole pescatarian thing but it's not like i ate a fucking turkey leg(it was the first time I've eaten meat in a very long time)...it was kinda like seafood...Laurie and i walked around to shop and i bought this amazing ceramic beer glass with and ivory skull on the front that is carved "Renaissance festival"...man we were so tired by the time we left i didn't know if i was going to make it through the night but after i drank 3 bottles of water i felt much better...so the group grew and Liz and mike showed up!!!!!...i really didn't think they would because i have been having a lot of problems with them lately...i guess not as much with him but there was talk of the possibility of them breaking up when we had a keg party at my house...apparently she's been going out and shutting her phone off...and she doesn't pay half of the rent...and she's messy...just too many things that i can't talk about...and it's a hard thing for me because our friendship has been slowly slipping year by year...to the point where i wasn't even calling her anymore...she's started to scare me with her weight dropping and looking like a zombie every time i see her...i just felt that i needed to leave her alone...her mom went to rehab and had several relapses over the passed year..then her parents split...her dad needs a transplant with no donor...and they just moved back to California so she's the only one in her family left in Texas...i mean i guess she needed me but she's never made her self available for me to try and help...I've been holding all of this in because i had just given up on our friendship...i figured if it was meant to go back to normal or at least to the point where were talking that it would happen eventually...so back to camping her and i talked about a lot of these issues...i was really glad she came...she told me her parents are sending her the money for therapy sessions, she's gained some weight, and she is pill free as of 2 weeks...she's already come off of painkillers once so im hoping it's not even harder for her this time....but we talked about the mike situation it was rough because i felt like it was none of my business and i didn't want to tell her that he may break up with her but it turns out she already knew all of this and none of it wasn't anything he hadn't told her already...so i was glad to hear he's being honest with her...and she's getting help so their relationship has a chance as well...im so proud of her though and it really helped to reconnect us even if it was drunken, crying, crazy talk haha...the next day we had to leave early cuz Matty needed to be home for Sunday football...i was so tired i came home and slept forever...but it was soooo much fun

the next big thing was that my manager confronted Laurie about her and Jeff dating...i think she will wind up in another store but it's all fine cuz she still lives in kingwood and i see her at least three times a week anyway

so for thanksgiving week...i was working the other night and it was super busy so i was kind of out of it...i turned around for a second and thought "man that looks like an older version of my brother"...turned around again and it was him standing at the register!!!...i haven't seen my brother in three years!!...Justin and i were JUST together the last time i saw him...i wasn't even 21 yet...it was so exciting it was a complete surprise...my parents didn't even tell me haha...so we went out to eat the Monday before thanksgiving and caught up and that was good...then that same Monday night i found out Craig, our friend from Louisiana was coming in town!!...so i got home and he showed up and Laurie came over and we all had a fire in our fire-pit in the backyard and drank...the next day we barbecued and Laurie came over again and we all hung out...everyone seemed to be in better spirits as well so that was good...then that night was mike's birthday so we got a text from liz that everyone was going to the bar for him and we all went together...Liz was able to get her little brother in and he's grown up sooo much it was crazy cuz when i met him for the first time he was like 9....such a baby lol...that was a really fun night though...we all came back to my house afterwords and we were dancing in the kitchen haha...

thanksgiving was good...my dad showed up late so we walked into my mom crying cutting turkey in the kitchen and she had just cut herself...he finally got there and we ate together and had some good conversation and my brother made us all fancy cocktails...then we watched the Cleveland show the thanksgiving episode because my brother's friend was the voice of Cleveland's mother...and then he put on Beverly hills chihuahua half way through Justin couldn't take it anymore and we had to leave haha...but all in all a good night

Friday we did my birthday dinner because my brother could come...we went to my favorite restaurant down town, bluefish, and had amazing sushi...then went back to my dad's apartment for a bit..all together i got 175 to amazon.com so im going to pay the difference and get myself an ipod touch finally...im really excited about that...im gonna buy it on Friday when i get paid...i came back home that night and played isketch and drank all night til 4am with Craig

we had a few more nights with Craig and then he finally went back

Monday i went for Mexican food with my whole family one more time it was good...my brother left Tues...I went shopping with Laurie that day because i really needed it...i don't really have the money to do it but i really needed it...Justin recently lost his job and rent was due so he wasn't in a good mood and didn't have his money...we had a small fight for the first time in like 4 months the night before so i was still weepy from that...and then when i started talking to Laurie about everything i kind of just broke down so he told me to go out and have fun...and that i did...we tried on shoes in Payless for 2 hours!! haha....we went to Victoria's secret twice...i mean it was awesome haha...i bought two new pieces of jewelry for my lip piercing, new boots(that were buy one get one half off and she let me have the half off..soo sweet), leg warmers to go over the boots, and a cute pair of panties that are red silk and say hohoho on the back for Christmas...i found other stuff i want at Victoria's secret and stuff but im gonna go back and buy everything i want when i get payed!!...im so lucky this month cuz i payed rent with my last check, i get payed Friday, bills are due at the next check, and then i get payed on the first so this next check is ALL ME!!...so after a good time i did have to come home to reality and the fact that we didn't have the full amount for rent...i told Justin that he needed to just call our landlord and be honest with her and tell her that he lost his job, we'll have her money on Friday, it's only this once...like just reason with her...and it worked!!...so the most terrible day ended very well because Tues was also Matty's birthday...we went for margaritas (like we do every Tues haha) with Laurie, Justin, Evan, and Rachel....then they came back to my house for another fun night of music, drinking, and fun stuff haha...

and now Friday it's supposed to snow!!!>....that would be soooo crazy cuz it snowed last year and man two years in a row has got to be a record for Houston...im just really really glad i won't be closing this time...that was the busiest day i have ever seen in Starbucks since i started working there...

so all in all it's been an AMAZING month...my life has improved so much since meeting Laurie...i just can't believe that it's gone back to being this good and having amazing people around...i really thought that part of my life was just completely done...im so glad it's not

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[10 Nov 2009|12:50pm]
I do have a lot to update on...and i will most likely today...i just wanted to get a quick one in...I am really hoping tonight is good...we're going to the renaissance festival this weekend for my birthday so that's like the real celebration but Laurie told me we'd go out tonight to dinner and she'd get people to come from work and stuff so i am excited..it doesn't really feel like my birthday right now haha...my mom's out of town, my dad is broke and lives downtown...one of my friends hasn't really talked to me in a month or two so i don't even know if she'll remember and it kind of hurts because i can't even remember a birthday or Halloween i haven't seen her since like 9th grade and the Halloween one already happened...so who knows...justin is saving up money so i won't get anything from him today...it just feels weird...it is our anniversary though...three years!!! yay....things are much better than they used to be so i shouldn't complain
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[22 Oct 2009|01:47am]
[ mood | amused ]

yesterday started out really really bad...i was so cranky because i wanted to spend time with Justin because it was my day off(I don't really have many of those now)...and he had already made plans at 6:15 and 9:00pm with two of his bands which basically made no room to do anything together...than we went to go get my prescription filled and the woman told me my health insurance wasn't working...with Starbucks as long as you aren't going to make any changes they automatically renew your insurance every August and you don't have to do anything...so i started freaking out because it's for anxiety and i started thinking what the fuck am i going to do i can't live with panic attacks every day again...she was nice enough to give me a bottle with three pills to get me through until i figure things out...so i talked to Laurie cuz she's my assistant and she told me there shouldn't be any problems...i talked to my mom while hysterically crying and she told me to calm down and then call my insurance company...and then i talked to my manager and she told me that Starbucks switched from aetna to blue cross and blue shield but as long as i took the health quotient online(which i did)...that i should still be covered so after checking online i find out my insurance with aetna ended on 9/30/09 so i talk to the partner contact center...they get me in touch with aetna...who gets me in touch with blue cross blues shield...and after a fucking hour and a half on the phone it turns out that i am still covered just under a different company and the reason why i didn't know is because my new health insurance card got lost in the mail...so all that crying and wasting time and energy and nothing is even wrong...but everyone i talked to was amazingly nice..and the blue cross blue shield guy gave me every single number i need to write down to get my prescription until they resend my new card..but after all of that...Oh wow last night was awesome...Justin didn't wanna come out because he's low on cash so Laurie came and picked me up and me, her, Lauren, and mike d went out for ritas at los cucos....on the way to the bar afterwords Laurie and i saw a kitty sitting on the side of the road basically on the highway so we decided we wanted to get Jeff a kitty haha...so we parked on the side of the highway and ran across and tried to get it and it ran across into bushes so we were just running in the middle of the road trying to get this cat...it was soooo funny people were slowing down asking us what we were doing..we had so much fun...no kitty though..we couldn't find it...when we got to the bar Lauren and mike thought we were insane they thought something had happened to us because of how long it took haha...then Jeff met us up there when he got off work...and we told him how we tried to get him a cat...man but we had so much fun at the bar we all vented about work and took lots of pictures...oh man so much fun...as soon as Laurie posts the pictures I'll put them on here...I don't even know how to describe it but i had so much fun..i payed for it today though with a really really bad liquor hangover i haven't drank liquor in so long...totally worth it though...work was really good tonight too i kept thinking things were behind but we got out early again...i get to teach the new girl how to close tomorrow then i am off Friday....i got my schedule for next week tonight and i work on Halloween but i am off by 5:30pm so it doesn't matter...that's good with me because the thing i am most excited about for Halloween is the fact that i am living in a house and i get to hand out candy to all of the little kids and see their costumes...Justin's gonna be at work so i am gonna have so much fun...yep good times

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[19 Oct 2009|11:16pm]
[ mood | good ]

My life's not really very interesting haha...I'm off tomorrow though so I've gotta make something happen...My last Tues off was awesome cuz Justin and I went to movie tavern and saw Zombieland then out of nowhere went downtown all night with Todd and went to like 5 different bars and to like 3 halloween warehouses...i haven't had a day like that in awhile...tonight i just worked again...im always at work...i still really love it though...everyone i worked with tonight was super organized like me so everything stayed clean and we got out early...plus i questioned Casey tonight about being pregnant and she is so I am very excited for her even though she's gonna be a pain in the ass for the next 9 months...I have been so happy having the internet for the last 2 months...it's kind of odd to say but I felt like I had lost myself for awhile..like everything I loved I wasn't paying attention to..I spent so much time trying to work on my relationship that I forgot about myself and who I was for a long time(the beginning of our relationship was really bad for me...LONG STORY)...but having the internet has changed that back to normal(that and a lot of other things)...music was a big thing I was always current with and I spent most of my time trying to find new bands and listening constantly...in the past month alone I have found so many favorite new songs...and bands...and I focus on myself and just me...listening when I want(even though it requires headphones)..going out more...having friends...i feel like the past 2 years I was just a blob existing...and now I have purpose again...I am not angry all the time, I'm doing things for me...it is SOOOOOO hard to explain..but it's good..trust me

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[17 Oct 2009|11:57pm]
So these are pictures from when Justin's band(my boyfriend) played at trashbar...

me, Laurie, and Mike...my favorite coworkers EVER!!



My roommate, Matty

oh beer...

me my my baby
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[17 Oct 2009|11:44pm]
Now that I am starting to get my anxiety under control I would really love to start doing this again...I was shocked when I saw that it said I hadn't posted an entry in 127 weeks...most people I know aren't even on here anymore so it would be pretty private anyway...Amy posting made me realize I miss it too...I wouldn't even know where to start...I finally have a friend!!...I am really excited...Laurie has been what I haven't had since early early high school...man..I'll try to update and keep up with it from now on seriously...i guess i just have to start small with my days and whatnot...well in that case work was awesome tonight loi, Michelle and i were all so tired we were completely delirious...so we were laughing constantly...then loi drove me home cuz the boys(my roommates) are all at a concert right now...i didn't get to go cuz i had to work...it's almost 1am and they're not home yet so they must be having fun...it's gonna be funny how drunk they are when they get home haha...i don't really have much to say...i bought a Halloween costume yesterday FINALLY!!..i need to buy a fucking girdle or something though hahhaha...it's a pinup girl costume and it looks fine and all but you know how every girl has that little pooch in her belly..it's really showing in the costume..i like it though i'll probably wear shorts with it...as soon as i remember how to post pictures in this i will since i should...im actually gonna go figure out how to do that right now since i have nothing else to do and that will be the next entry in a few haha....weird
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[11 May 2007|07:58pm]
[ mood | tired ]

So as of yesterday justin and i have been living together for 6 months...i can't believe it's been half a year already...and it's the best...everything with him and i is good...we are living back at home with my mom right now...lots of shit happened with our old apartment and once the lease was up we needed to leave...as of right now we're trying to get some of our bills payed off and saving up to move back out...we are both going back to school in the fall so i want to make sure we will be able to make things work(yeah i finally know an exact degree plan)...i am FINALLY going to look for a car tomorrow...it's so weird that i am almost 21 and still have never had a car...it's something that everyone really takes for granted...we make our way around though...we walk everywhere whether it's for cigarettes or to hang out..or even to go to work or eat...i think i'll still walk a lot when i do have a car...living with my mom is really hard...i always said i'd never come back...but i kind of got stuck when justin lost his job...he's working again now though and got his first paycheck today which made me very relieved...i guess since i am at home i could be updating this more often...so much has happened in the last year and even the last six months that i don't even know how to update this without leaving anything out...i guess i just thought i'd have more to say...as for work i still haven't gotten my promotion so i finally talked to my manager and told her how stuck i feel right now and how frustrated i am...so she said that she's going to go above the district manager and just start training me to become a shift before i interview and let him know that im ready and ready to train and that he can interview me once training is done...im so happy i finally got that over with because i REALLY need that raise and im getting bored in my position...i've been there almost two years now...i need a change...everything with my parents is still really weird and most of it i don't want to talk about...my dad isn't really the same person anymore...he's actually kind of a jerk...not to mension he treats justin like shit...and he's not the type of person that will take it just because he's my dad so that's been kinda hard too...the only other thing i can think of is that we're going to try and go to jersey for vacation in late July...we weren't going to because we found out that we really couldn't afford the hotel room but my mom offered to let us stay in her room...and a plane ticket is only 200 dollars right now...so i think we might be able to swing it...plus i have a LOT of unused vacation time right now...all i've used it for is being sick because i was rediculously sick last week...i can't get better because everyone around me just keeps getting sick...well i guess i'll leave with some pictures from Brittin's birthday party at Crystal beach...she got a beach house and we all went down there and stayed for the weekend at the end of April...



FRIENDS(everyone :) )

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[25 Dec 2006|01:00pm]
so christmas has been good...i got some nice things and whatnot...and i was glad to have someone to spend it with...yes, that's right i am no longer single...and I am really happy right now...honestly he just makes me happy....the first person in a long time that i've actually wanted to do things for...but enough about that...lately i've just been trying my hardest to be a good friend and listener to people...i think that a lot of people need that right now...and there was a long time that i could have used someone like that...i don't really have much to say...living is going good, boyfriend is going good, job is good...i still feel depressed on and off...but i can deal with that because there are those little happy moments that make you glad to be alive...like last night justin and i split a bottle of caramel bailey's and played cards and tried to watch adult swim but couldn't even make it through the replay of family guy...we both passed out on the couch then went to bed haha and that was my christmas eve...i wouldn't have had it any other way
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[23 Nov 2006|04:44pm]
So it's Thanksgiving and im in San Fran California this year visiting my brother...with my mom...it's been aggravating already and my mom just arrived like 2 hours ago...but whatever the shopping here has been fantastic...and im getting the most badass phone ever tomorrow...it can identify music just by you holding it up to the radio...and it has a ton of other awesome features...im excited especially cuz mine isn't work at all right now...so yeah vacation for ten days i mean what can you say...honestly i miss home and all the people that come with it i didn't even want to come here i miss liz and todd, mike, justin, cody...i miss everyone and i can't wait to get back...i think this is the first time in my whole life i've been counting down the days til when i get back...how sad is that?...i guess life isn't as bad as it could be at least i have fun friends and things to do....oh well not much else to say...i know it's been awhile...there's a guy i really like that i've known for a long time and it seems to be going well so far but i miss him right now...i always fall kinda fast so im trying to take it slow with this one...but we have a great time together...k done
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[15 Sep 2006|03:15pm]
I was going back and reading some of my old entries...i miss just writing in here every day...and i'm glad that i've done it for so long...i've had a livejournal since 2001, my other journal on here was tool420 if you ever wanted to read my old journal...this week has been hell and has had many ups and downs...i had a huge breakdown at the beginning of the week...and everyone finally saw what happens when i'm alone...we move in today...i already started moving and the kitties hate it...i need to get back to them soon...im waiting for liz to get off to pack more...oh well i'll write more later
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[09 Sep 2006|12:53am]
Every night...every single fucking night I still think about him...my stomach felt soooo sick last night thinking about everything over again...at least other people have the chance of getting a glimpse of their ex or knowing that they can talk to them briefly in a phone call or hey just know that they are out there somewhere...it's so weird that when i find myself missing him i can't call him and ask him how he's doing...i don't even know if anyone knows im still dealing with this because i don't really talk to anyone about it anymore...i just don't know what to do...tool concert monday...that makes me think of him even more and im going with his best friend...what to do...moving into our new apartment next friday finally..more space...more kitty runaround space...and so on...i overdrew my account by accident...i fucked up big time with that...and oh yeah i have work in less than 4 hours...@4:45am...goodnight
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[30 Jul 2006|05:09pm]
[ mood | okay ]

I pay my last month of rent in the apartment I am in on Tues...then me Liz, Garrett, and Kristen are moving into a two story three bedroom...it has two porches and a balcony...washer and dryer hook up...it has everything we need and it's soooo much bigger...plus with the rent split up more i will be paying 100 dollars less for rent each month...i am about to finally have a car as well...then by January I can move up in Starbucks and go back to school...I hung out with Nicole yesterday and that was good...i miss her and Ronnie...they are starting there own business and everything seems to be going well...Liz and Garrett are actually living with me right now in our old apartment and it's been nice to have some extra people to help clean and stuff...plus liz and i have talked about living together since we were 11 so i never thought we actually would...relationship wise there is no one in my life right now, and honestly for the first time i haven't been looking...i know that i am just trying to fill a void and i need to completely heal until there is no void before i let someone else into my life...yeah so everything is pretty much just living and work...i have been closing a lot and i just sit on my balcony and listen to my ipod every night...I am going to see the Lion King next Sunday...it should be exciting because my dad has been trying to go for 5 years...and I also have tickets to see Tool again on September 11th with Ronnie and Nicole...it'll be weird not having it be Ronnie, Nicole, me and Gary because we only ever hung out in groups, but oh well...they are my friends too...i have another kitty now(there are two)...we rescued her from the Starbucks parking lot and honestly they are my life...they're like having children...they need me and love me so much...and it's nice to have that feeling...i never thought i'd be a cat person but now everyone says im gonna be the crazy cat lady some day...well this is it for awhile...anyone i haven't seen in awhile http://www.myspace.com/7319434 there's pictures...and there are some of me and Gary on there too for anyone interested...

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[08 Jul 2006|12:41am]
yeah, im still here...well not here but there...and still having the occasional breakdowns that i don't tell anyone about...life has been pretty good though...i mean starbucks people are pretty much my life now...and i don't mind...it's nice to have a bigger group of people that you don't want to let go of...even if one by one they are slowly leaving...i plan on being in austin within a year anyway...i guess i could go into more detail...but i don't see the point...most people that want to know whats going on in my life already do
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